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THE BEAUTY IN IMPERMENANCE

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  Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" 11:33 "This too shall pass" Impermanence- the state or fact of lasting for only a limited period of time. WINTER it was cold for me. I wanted to be comfortable not caring and skipping to the excitement after big changes without the scut work if you will. This taught me the moments where everything is frozen is where you gain the most clarity and peace. I felt myself begin to slowly become okay with my choices, how I approach life, and the story I told myself. The story of peace, safety, and truth. I let the pain peel back the layers of myself that so desperately wanted to keep the promises I made to myself and God. No matter where, how, what , or who everything will be okay and this too shall pass. SPRING I thought, rethought, slipped, balanced, thought about it again and still didn't know. This taught me that sometimes when the truth lies in your heart no plan co...

"IS MY TEEN SPIRIT THE NIRVANA ?"

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There comes a point in everyone's journey- somewhere between heartache and healing, rebellion, and reason- where we began to wonder if the fire inside of us is a beacon or bomb. That restless, hungry energy we carried in our younger days- the one that pulsed beneath our skin like an electric current-"where did it go?" Or more hauntingly, is it still there, waiting to be reclaimed? "Teen Spirit" is often romanticized as chaotic freedom: loud music, wild dreams, recklessness coated in sweat. But beneath the noise, there was also purity. Not the kind wrapped in perfection or obedience, but the kind that was untouched by jadedness. It was the belief that we could change the world- or at least our small corners of it. That love was worth writing poems about. That we didn't have to settle. That we were the revolution. Then adulthood crept in, like fog swallowing the skyline. We traded spontaneity for strategy. Chose stability over soul. Learned to silence the scre...

ATTRACTING LOVE THAT NOURISHES ME

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 I am no longer drawn to love that burns me. My heart may remember the thrill of intensity, the way mystery and chaos once made me feel alive- but I now know that real love doesn't have to hurt to be deep. I still long for soulful connection, for intimacy that dissolves the walls between two people. But I no longer chase emotional extremes to find it. I seek a bond that feels safe and electric. One where I can be fully seen- messy, magical, and whole- and still held with presence. Where emotional depth isn't used to control or consume, but to truly understand and build trust. I am always reminded that love is a soft kind of power. It's protection not possession. It's passion that listens. I deserve someone who nurtures me without needing to be saved. Someone who holds space for my emotions and honors their own. I no longer confuse emotional drama with passion. I don't need to heal anyone to be worthy of their love. I don't need to silence my needs to keep the pe...

PART III : LOVE AS ALCHEMY - THE PLEASURE & PASSION OF VENUS & MERCURY IN THE 8TH HOUSE

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 Love, for me, has never been something light or simple. It's not a passing feeling. It's not just companionship. It's a rebirth. It's where love and communication live not on the surface, but in the shadows, the silences, the secrets we are brave enough to share. This means I don't just date people- I merge with them. My heart searches for something more than attraction. I want to see the soul. I want to feel someone's inner world like it's my own. When I fall in love, it changes me. It cracks me open. It challenges who I think I am. This intensity isn't always easy. As I've mentioned, love is a portal. I attract, and am attracted to people who awaken something deep- often desire, vulnerability, fear, or even past-life choices because deep down I want it to be different you have to see what you want to change or what you need to acknowledge more. I can't do lukewarm. I've tried. It feels like a lie. I need to feel it - all of it. The hunger,...

PART II : THE MASK & THE MAGNETISM : SCORPIO RISING -THE DEEP END

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To know me is to love me, but the thing about knowing is you have to KNOW, you know?  There is a quiet kind of presence that Scorpio Rising gives- not the one that demands attention, but one that naturally holds it. I've noticed it more with time. It's not about mystery for mystery's sake- It's about how much of myself I keep to myself until I feel safe. I've always been private. Not closed off, just inward by nature. I move through life observing- not because I'm trying to stay distant, but because I want to understand things before I invest. People often assume they know me, or they project their stories onto me. I've learned to let that happen without feeling the need to correct. It's not my job to be fully readable. This puts transformation at the front door of my life. I've had to let go of a lot- roles, identities, people, illusions. Sometimes I walked away, sometimes things fell apart without my permission. Either way, I've been shaped by ...

PART I: AIR & WATER - THE DANCE OF THE GEMINI SUN AND PISCES MOON

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 I was born into contrast. My very essence is built from the tension of two vastly different elements: air and water- thought and feeling. It's not always comfortable, but it's always alive. At the center of this tension lives my Gemini Sun and Pisces Moon. The Gemini in me is fast-moving, curious, and endlessly alive to the world around me. I'm the kind of person who can connect dots in a conversation others didn't even notice. I follow threads- of thought, of stories, of ideas- not because I'm restless, but because I must. I need to experience life mentally, through language, through questions. The world is a puzzle I can't stop solving. But beneath that sparkle of thought, there's a deep ocean, My Pisces Moon feels the emotional undercurrents of everything. I can sense a person's sadness in the way they pause before speaking. I intuit truth before it is spoken out loud. And I don't just feel my own emotions- I absorb the emotions of those around m...

BECOMING BETWEEN WORLDS: A Journey Through My Stars (PROLOGUE)

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Some people move through life like a steady flame- consistent, reliable, always glowing. I was born to dance with the winds and dream with the tides. I was born to live in contradictions- not as a curse, but as an initiation. Both of my heart and mind are an unlikely pair; one wants to understand the world, the other wants to dissolve into it. One asks questions, the other feels answers before they can be formed. And yet, together they have created a rhythm I've slowly come to honor- a mind that dances and a heart that swims. My life has always been guided by curiosity, words, ideas, people- I orbit them like a butterfly in a garden, sipping from whatever flower speaks to me in the moment. I don't just want to know; I want to understand everything from ten different angles to give the gift of love and listening to the things I meet. There is a lightness to me, yes- but that doesn't mean I lack depth. I also tell a different story. There are days when I'm a bright wind, ...