BECOMING BETWEEN WORLDS: A Journey Through My Stars (PROLOGUE)

Some people move through life like a steady flame- consistent, reliable, always glowing. I was born to dance with the winds and dream with the tides. I was born to live in contradictions- not as a curse, but as an initiation.

Both of my heart and mind are an unlikely pair; one wants to understand the world, the other wants to dissolve into it. One asks questions, the other feels answers before they can be formed. And yet, together they have created a rhythm I've slowly come to honor- a mind that dances and a heart that swims.

My life has always been guided by curiosity, words, ideas, people- I orbit them like a butterfly in a garden, sipping from whatever flower speaks to me in the moment. I don't just want to know; I want to understand everything from ten different angles to give the gift of love and listening to the things I meet. There is a lightness to me, yes- but that doesn't mean I lack depth. I also tell a different story. There are days when I'm a bright wind, playful and sharp, weaving words, learning everything, connecting dots others miss. But then the stillness comes. The ache. The emotional tide that rises with no warning that reminds me that life is more than logic- It's energy, intuition, grief, beauty, longing. It's the unspoken truth that lives in the pauses between words. 

This is what it means to be me:

To be here and somewhere else at the same time. To want both freedom and merging. To be watched and deeply hidden.

Beneath the clever words and spontaneous laughter lies a soul that feels EVERYTHING. Deeply. My emotional world isn't just vast- It's oceanic. I often feels things before I understand them, and I carry an intuitive wisdom that I can't always explain. This duality is my secret magic. I'm not just a thinker. I feel the thoughts. I don't just feel- I find the words that make others feel too.

I've never been one to reveal myself easily. People sense something intense about me, something they can't name, something magnetic. I don't chase attention, but it finds me anyway- maybe because of my authenticity, my gift of sight that's stronger than facades that allows me to act in my fullness. I'm not here for shallow connections. I crave depth, rawness, and the kind of honesty that's too real for small talk. I move through the world cloaked in a quiet power- not performative, not loud, but undeniable. I've had to carry intensity since I was young- intensity in feeling, in thought, in love. It's the way I was built. But it took time to stop seeing this as too much, and instead, as exactly right. I've learned that not everyone deserves access to my inner world. 

I paint love and communication as transformative forces. Relationships don't just happen to me- They shape me. I don't do lukewarm when it comes to connection. It's either soul deep or nothing. My words and my love are portals. When I love, it's not casual. It's alchemy. I see people in their rawest truth- and I ask to be seen the same way. Not for the surface, but for the soul. This depth has been a gift and a scar. Sometimes I fall too deep too fast. Sometimes I give my energy to those who don't know how to hold it. And yet, this same perspective or piece of my being teaches me to be mindful of who I merge with. Not every flame deserves my oxygen. And still, I choose to love anyway- because I know real connection is worth the risk of unraveling. 

I'm a rebel when it comes to love and creativity. I find joy in doing things my own way, and I thrive in environments that allow me to express myself without rules. Traditional paths often bore me. I'd rather create something original even if it's misunderstood at first. I create magic when I follow my own blueprint- whether in art, romance, or self expression. I'm not meant to color inside the lines. I'm meant to draw new ones.

My relationship to my self worth has been an ever evolving and painful journey sometimes. I've had to transform my sense of worth over and over again. Sometimes through loss. Sometimes through reinvention. I've had to lose to understand value- to rebuild from scratch. I've had to ask: "What do I really need to feel safe ? What parts of me are non-negotiable?" And over time, I've found my answer: my power lies in my ability to regenerate. To let go of what's dead and trust that I'll bloom again, more rooted than before.

Home for me has always been a uncertain, dreamy, shifting concept. Maybe I've longed for a sense of belonging I couldn't quite name. Maybe I am my own home- learning to feel safe inside myself, even when the world outside is uncertain. I've learned to build a spiritual foundation within. I create sanctuaries- through sacred routines, music, silence, and movement. I anchor into the unseen. Into my own softness. Into dreams I haven't fully named yet.

I have a structured passion for growth. To grow through effort- not just wander, but discern. I'm not just here to explore the world; I want to make sense of it. To build a belief system that's mine, rooted in experience, not dogma. My belief systems have been shaped by challenge, by resistance, by having to forge my own path in a world full of loud truths. It's taught me to think deeply, act intentionally, and find strength in my spiritual convictions.

In community, I shine. This makes me a quiet healer among friends. The one who sees the potential in everyone and believes in the power of becoming. I'm not loud about it, but I bring insight, encouragement, wisdom and clarity to friendships- the kind that lingers long after I've left the room, often not realizing it. I love improving lives, solving problems, helping others become their best selves. It's in my nature to give, but I've learned to be just as generous with myself.

All in all I've learned so far that depth is not a burden, it's my brilliance.

My sensitivity is not a weakness, It's the compass I use to navigate the invisible.

I can hold paradox, and not only survive it, but create beauty from it.

My life is not linear, not simple. I am not someone who fits into molds. I am someone who dissolves them- so something more real, more fluid, more true can emerge.

I was born to live between worlds- the world of thought and the world of feeling, the seen and the unseen, And in that liminal space I am becoming.